Have you ever walked into your new home—full of fresh paint, organized boxes, and good intentions—maybe even the dream one, and still felt… completely out of place? That was me. More than once. And I’ve learned that the ache of disconnection isn’t reserved for just the new homeowners on the block. Sometimes you’ve lived in the same home for a decade, but you still don’t feel part of your new enivronment. I’ve unpacked my life in a new space and still felt like a stranger in my own neighbourhood. The good news? You’re not stuck. You can choose to start your first 90 days—today.

Here’s the thing: that feeling doesn’t just show up when you move. Sometimes you’ve lived in the same house for 11 years and still don’t feel like you belong. Life is busy. Our kids were grown, the dogs weren’t dragging us into conversations anymore, and before we knew it, we’d gone quiet. Connection doesn’t come on autopilot. It comes from intentional, sometimes uncomfortable steps. 

When Ken and I first moved to Ottawa, we left everything familiar behind—family, jobs, routine. We dove into new work, welcomed our babies, and juggled a whirlwind of responsibilities. And yet, we felt adrift. We spent years applying for jobs elsewhere, trying to get back to what we called home. Then one Sunday, everything changed. We went to a new church. Someone invited us to lunch. Our kids made fast friends. That one brave moment—showing up and staying—sparked a ripple effect that eventually anchored us.

We had waited. We hadn’t waved. We didn’t go first. And as lovely as the homes were, they felt lonely. That’s when I learned something that sounds simple but is deeply powerful: connection doesn’t come looking for you. You must choose it.

So I started waving again. Leaving notes in mailboxes. Jotting down names and birthdays and pet preferences so I wouldn’t forget. I started offering smiles and accepting awkwardness as part of the process. And Ken? He mowed a neighbour’s lawn before they even moved in—just because. These little acts aren’t grand, but they’re seeds. And seeds, when planted with care, eventually grow into something rooted and beautiful.

Sometimes it feels scary. Sometimes you wonder if anyone notices. But I promise—they do. The neighbour who waved back. The cashier who opened up. The friend you met in the garden centre aisle. Every small moment builds a bigger sense of belonging.

So if your world feels disconnected—whether you just unpacked your boxes or you’ve lived behind the same door for decades—know this: you get to reset your “first 90 days” anytime. Start waving. Start showing up. Start writing the kind of story you want to be part of.

Because your heart knows it was made for connection. And I believe you’re brave enough to go first.

Let’s do it together.

Build Belonging in 90 Days (or Anytime)

• Go first. Wave, smile, or drop off a note—initiate the connection.
• Start where you are. Your next 90 days can begin today—no matter how long you’ve lived there.
• Join in. Whether it’s a local club, church, or event, consistency builds familiarity.
• Be intentional. Remember names, follow up, and keep showing up even if it feels awkward.
• Stay kind. Don’t take silence personally. Community takes time—and it’s worth the wait.